The other day I was able to write something I found to be more aligned with what I like to blog about. It was nothing significantly memorable by any means, but I think it came out pretty fun and I had a good time writing it and there is nothing more awesome than blogging fun. Flogging? Funlogging? I don’t know.
Anyway, it was about Eva Longoria because I find her to be straight up obnoxious. I have never been charmed by her and I think her face is kind of strange. It’s like a horse clown or something. I thought this all meant that I hated her. After one of my editors read my little item, she called and said I have a problem and need to seek help for my Posh and Eva Longoria love.
At first I was appalled. I do not love Eva, I hate her. How dare my editor assault my character like that.
But I gave it a little thought and it hit me. I do actually love Eva Longoria.
I love that her clothes are always borderline tacky. I love that she cakes makeup on like no one else (not even Zefron!). I love her big horse teeth that she insists on displaying at all times. I love that she married some French basketball player that’s way younger and then doesn’t even spend time with him. I love that she shamelessly picked up Jessica Simpson’s sloppy seconds hair extension putter inner. I love that she was in Jessica Simpson’s “Public Affair” music video. I love that she tries really to look like she’s having a fucking blast everywhere she goes. I love that she’s constantly denying rumors I never even knew started. I love that she’s playing a fucking ghost in her new movie and Paul Rudd agreed to costar in it.
I love the bitch and that’s all there is to it. She may even deserve to be named patron saint of this blog, but I’m not sure if this blog deserves a patron saint yet.
