People don’t read my blog and I’m completely okay with that. I haven’t even asked my friends to check it out because I’m terrified of how much it sucks. But those are just some issues I have to work out. (Also most of this blogging takes place while intoxicated, but yet again, that’s another issue I have to work through.)
So I haven’t posted for about two weeks and I’ve been avoiding logging in because I’m afraid people are going to leave comments like “You Suck!!!111!!11!” (I’ve heard worse.) But I was feeling so giddy today because of Mark Ronson at the Brit Awards that I was like “Fuck it, I need to express my M.Ro love!” And I logged into my little WordPress account.
Turns out, there were no bad comments because no one gives a fuck (of course they don’t, I’m not some Gawker celebrity whose blog is checked on a daily basis to ridicule). First thing I do is check my blog stats and there was a huge spike on February 19. Page views topped out at 268 to be exact. That’s a lot for some pussy not promoting her blog or even writing in it.
Of course I’m like WTF, how is that even possible? I investigated further and all the tags were linked to Lindsay Lohan New York because of those awful naked pictures taking the Internet by storm. I had just so happened to have written some bullshit about Lindsay and the New York Times and Mormanads earlier this month. I found this whole thing humorous for a few reasons:
1. I’ve had a few vodka cocktails already.
2. I had just read an article today about how those pictures boosted the traffic of nymag.com by 2000%, which is sort of what it did to my website.
3. I had no naked Lindsay to offer people, just her in a bikini and alcohol monitoring anklet. What can I say? I prefer my Lilo raw and not playing Marilyn Monroe dress-up.
Anyway, so there’s the naked Lindsay Lohan and here the link to the rest of the photos (however, if you haven’t found it by now, you’re an Internet idiot and I don’t want anything to do with you). I guess I’ll write about Mark Ronson tomorrow. Oh and I’m so fucking happy J.Lo finally popped those damn babies out.
Goodnight.
